Transform Your Guilt Into Growth
You know, one of the biggest things I hear from people, especially busy parents, is this idea of perpetual guilt - mom guilt, dad guilt. And it shows up when they feel like they're not spending enough time at home, not being there for their families because they're so connected to work through phones, through social media. It's this never-ending cycle.
Here's the thing - it creates a real challenge because the business supplies the lifestyle, right? Maybe that's private school for the kids, maybe it's those expensive hobbies, those family vacations. All these things require you to show up and give your best at work. And giving your best requires time.
Now, write this down because it's really important: Guilt is simply the byproduct of a violated expectation.
And when I work with hard-charging, high-driving entrepreneurs, I notice something critical. Your work ethic, that same drive that's made you successful, can actually become an autoimmune disease to your growth. Your willingness to jump in and solve all problems with your back instead of your brain is actually the source of most of your guilt.
There are three main reasons why people struggle with their expectations. First, entrepreneurs are especially gifted people pleasers. They're so busy getting everybody else's work done, they don't have any energy left for their own expectations. Second, they try to change through oppression instead of working with their natural freedom-seeking nature. This creates what I call perfectionistic apathy - this cycle between trying to be perfect and just giving up completely. And third - and this is crucial - we're not taught to understand where our expectations come from. Most of us don't even know we have them. We're living up to this rule book we didn't even know existed, feeling guilty about violating rules we've never examined.
Now, one thing we've done here is developed a worksheet with the top ten most common sources of guilt that we see in our line of work. And here's what I want you to do with it - if you're experiencing any of these, go under that category and ask yourself the question: What is the expectation that I am violating here? What's the expectation that's being violated that's causing this guilt? This is just an exercise in awareness.
Because remember, awareness creates choice. And if you really want a life of freedom, if you want to show up as the best version of yourself, then you're seeking a life with the most choices. Take these insights, these perspectives we've shared, and use them to create a life with just a little bit more freedom.
Live Freed,
Jordan
