“Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting. In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly in the “never enough” culture, the question isn’t so much “Are you parenting the right way?” as it is: “Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?”
— BRENE BROWN

 

Are you the adult you want your child to be?

That question of “Are you the adult you want your child to be?” is very powerful. I call it a standard of living question. Are we living up to the standards we would want our children to live up to? Are we leading ourselves the way we want our children to lead themselves? It creates a higher calling, a higher purpose to who we are. Now, you don’t have to have children for this to an effective strategy for you because we all have people we love. Just substitute children with whoever you intend to be an example for i.e. the person or people you love most in the world. Do that and the power of this will resonate through your heart and mind.

From this question came the principle Best Advice Best Life and it is probably the single most powerful coaching principle I’ve ever developed. We all have this inner wisdom that lies deep within our souls. When it comes to accessing it for ourselves it can be extremely difficult because we tend to be caught up in the drama and baggage of our own stories. And yet when we are called upon to give that advice to those we care for most our love for them provides a drama-free direct channel deep into the vein of that wisdom. All of the wisdom of the world is available to us in micro-seconds.

That’s the easy part. The real journey begins when you make the decision to live your best advice. Now that you have access to it are you actually going to follow it? Are you going to listen to the whispers of your wisdom or the shouts of your doubts? Here is what I know…if you aren’t following your best advice you aren’t living your best life.

Coach vs. Consultant

The main difference between a coach and a consultant is you pay a consultant to give you answers; you pay a coach to ask you questions. My goal as a coach is to help my clients tap into their own resourcefulness to gain access to the insights they need to make the right decisions for themselves. Not just pump them full of more information or what I think they should do. If information was so valuable then Google would charge to search. You need questions to understand how to follow the direction you want your life to go. No one has those answers except you and they are within you now.

How to Actually Apply Best Advice Best Life

Often a client of mine will say “I don’t think I can do this.” or “I don’t think this is possible.” That’s where Best Advice Best Life really gets legs. I simply ask them the following questions…

Who in the world do you love most?

Let’s imagine they found themselves in the exact same scenario you are in now. Every single detail is the same and they called you up with saying the exact same thing you’re saying now…”I don’t think I can do this.” or “I don’t think it is possible.” What questions would you ask them? And what advice would you give?

Here’s what I know. You would say something. You wouldn’t just leave this person hanging. So walk me through it.

You can use this process as a true North Star whenever you’re struggling to figure something out or decide what choice to make. Again, once you have accessed the wisdom to live your best life your duty is to have the courage and faith to go live your own advice.

You’re either a Warning or an Example

At the end of the day we are all one of two things to those around us…we are warnings or examples. We are either warnings of failure or examples of winning .

Your children will forget everything you say and remember everything you do.

If you’re going to lead the people you care about toward a successful and prosperous life, you need to live by example. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your words will be louder than your actions.

I promise you that the best thing you can do for your team, whether that be in your career or at home with your children, is to have the courage to live the life you want them to lead. Go first. Live your Best Advice and have your Best Life.